तिमी (you)1

मेरो सबै pride आज चुर चुर भएर झरेर गयो। जो माथि येति धेरै विश्वास र माया थियो , सबैले उनीहरुमाथि भएको सबै गुरुध छिया छिया भएर टुटेर गयो। जिबनमा पहिलोपटक हजुर माथि विश्वास र माया थियो सबै हजुरले तोदिदिनु भयो। तिमीलाई जब मनको कुरा भने अनि तिमीले स्विकार्येउ म येति खुसि थिए कि भन्न सक्दिन , तर कता कता तिम्रो बेबहार देखेर तिमीलाई म संग interest छैन लाग्थ्यो। म तिमीलाई बिना मतलबको रिलेशनमा राख्न चाहन्नथे तर तिमीले कुनैबेला माया गर्छु जसरि कुरा गर्थेउ म त फेरि मख्है हुन्थे। तिमीलाई तिमि मेरो आफ्नो मान्छे होउ भनेर कुरा गर्थे ,तिमि संग जसरि कुरा गर्थे तेसरी अरुसंग कुरा गर्दिनथे। साची भानु भने म येति खुसि थिए कि मैले खुसि भएर आखा केहि देखिन तिमि भन्दा परको सबै कुरा बिर्सिए। तिम्रो हिजो रातिको कुराले मेरो सबै खुसि र घमण्ड लाइ पछारिदियो एकाएक छरिएको मन सबै एक्त्रित्र भएर बादल बन्यो र हुरी बतास आउन थाल्यो। हुरी बतास आयो तर बर्सा भएन , थाहा छैन कहिले वर्ष बनि सबै झर्छ र न्यु बिहानि सुरु हुन्छ ? All my pride was shattered today. Those who had so much faith and love in them, all the Gurudwaras on them were torn apart. For the first time in my life, I had faith and love for you. I can't say that I was so happy when I told you my heart's desire and you accepted, but seeing your helplessness, you didn't seem to be interested in me. I didn't want to put you in a meaningless relationship but I would love you as much as you used to talk. They used to talk to you that you are my own people, they would not talk to others like they talked to you. Sachi Bhanu said I was so happy that I was happy and forgot everything beyond you. Your words last night took away all my happiness and pride All of a sudden, the scattered mind gathered and became a cloud and the wind began to blow. Hurricane wind came but it didn't rain, I don't know when the year will be over and the new morning will start?

Midnight joy! Part 1!!

My midnight rooftop emotion

Now, i m sitting  on my rooftop and i m watching towards sky.seriously , This sky is amezing.the dog is barking in far neighbourhood  house .my little  cute insect are sing ing a song around me.they make  me realise  that , hey paaru! we are still miss you! the frog singing a song in far pond and it  remind  me that yes!  your old days are missing you! we are missing you! it"s a 2 0"clock 12/6/2020 Friday.

The road infront of my house are big and wider, the watertop was not there where it was exactly  before.there are few changes occur but the same dog barking doesn"t change.those insect are still s singing a song for me at middle night.the same birds singing a song infront of my room, sitting in a same electricity wire.these all remind me about  my teenage age.It is the moment that i used to read book when i was at school and +2 level. When i was tired and slept than i wakeup by this beautiful song sing by my friends. my friends!oh yes! thes all are my friends. I wakeup and cameout in a rooftop and enjoying my villege view which look so beautiful  at the evening and night.yes,i love my house! i love my village.and yes i love the village  people also.

my older wisher arenot anymore here.
In those 7 years of gap, i had loss my dear closet also.now, i m missing them looking into there houses and remembering those beautiful moment i had.they are always be mine favourite  one.they were take care of me everytime.in every moment, they teached me so many things about life.where ever they gone, i  pray with god for the peace of their soul  in the heaven.among them One was my mama,I couldn't believe that you aren't  anymore. he was a really a source of inspiration for me.he used to guide me as teacher.he used to talked with me as my best friend.I used to shared all my sorrow and happiness  with him.Every day,he came into my house and asked ,"bhanji"  ::::"bhanji" ! what you doing?? and ..... our long  conversation  was there with laughed, I used to shared all those those thing happened  in a day.


He took my every world with care.I m always  thankful to him.as i were a child and i had shared  my all dream to him.You took a very special place into my heart.Really, now i m looking into your favourite  sitting place of your house and missing you.That was last night i had talked wid you, may the god knows everything  so  he created  a situation  to talked wid you THAT NIGHT.Those memory i spent with you are best memory ever!Where ever you are ,may your soul rest in peace Mama, Lokendra BC!

I saw, the beautiful half moon is smiling  as same as before looking towards me and it is saying : hey! look into me i m still watching you.where  have you  been lost since many years?? You didn't look into me at once, why??



I m feeling  so happy here! Its been so long gap.really i findout same feeling of joy and the emotion heart touched smile and  mine favorite feeling ever.still today i have tears on my eyes exactly  as before. that is happened  when i smile  looking  towards this sky.I still couldn't  understand this emotion , why tears in my eyes  in the feeling of best joy??